Wirt

I'm not sure exactly how, but, I somehow wound up in Goldenrod City.

I mean, yeah, I wanted to get there, but I wasn't expecting to just....[Wirt shakes his head to clear a bad thought.]

A-Anyway, I noticed there are some businesses owned by people not from around here. I was wondering, are any of you hiring? I don't mind working at the Poke-mart, but it'd be nice to work for someone outside this...um...world. And it would help if you paid higher, but that's just wishful thinking, isn't it?

Uh, s-so, yeah, I can do most tasks, and am pretty good at menial labor. I can't lift too much weight though....but, it's really important that I get enough money to rent a duplex, so I'll do just about anything!

Er, thanks!

[Wirt's screaming again. Just plain old screaming. He occasionally runs into the frame. He's lost his hat, and it's clear why when he next runs into the frame. Wirt has sprouted an impressive pair of antlers. Right now, it seems like they're growing some sort of flower buds.]

[Piers the Buizel appears!] Bui. ["So you can see we've got a bit of a problem..."]

[Tesla the Shinx and Kitsune the Fennekin start chasing Wirt, fruitlessly.] Bui-zel. ["That's the third time they've tried. So if any of you humans are around, come punch my trainer all ready. If he's going to be this crazy, then he's better off K.O.ed."]

So, back home, it was October, but when I got here it was summer. Does that mean a whole year has passed or did I just go back in time?

It's kind of important because it's...um....my birthday today.

Not that it's an important one or anything. I mean, 15 is one of those in-between ages. But, if I did go back in time then I'm just turning 14 again.....

[He thinks about it for a bit, but then rubs his head in frustration.]

Agh, this is too confusing! 14 or 15, it's still my birthday!

[After the performance, a nervous Wirt appears.]

Um, so...that was all right, right? I uh....couldn't get sheet music to anything more....classical. They said that Goldenrod City might have a better selection, though, so I guess I could head there....

Oh, shoot! Right, I have to do the gyms, too...does it matter what order I do them in at all?

C-Can someone tell me....

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!

I wake up, and everything's fine, right? Well, as fine as it gets here- and here I am, letting Piers, uh, my Buizel swim to burn off energy, and all over the feed there's stuff that shouldn't be happening!

There's a lady making it snow somewhere, another one shooting of LIGHTNING, and another talking about not being human anymore, like that's normal for them!

I...I'm losing my mind. That's it. I've finally cracked under the insanity of this place. There's no other reasonable explana- [SPLASH! In his worked up state, Wirt has fallen in the pond he's taken his Pokemon to.]

AIEEEEEEE! [He flails a bit, the fear of drowning nicely ingrained in him. Luckily, it's really shallow where he fell in, and he realizes this, as he calms, sitting there. In his flailing, he's managed to get a lily pad on his head.]

.....Great. [But it's not over! A Froakie, seemingly out of nowhere, with a dandy pair of socks and a top hat, jumps up onto Wirt's head and begins to sing!]

B-But...you're not...!

[Wirt's watching his hatched Fennekin play with his Shinx and Swablu.] Well, now I've got a fire breathing fox. Is it okay to call it Kitsune, even though it doesn't have nine tails? Also, how do you tell if a Pokemon is a boy or a girl?

Anyway, I guess it's lucky that they all get along- I can't imagine what'd happen if they didn't, but I know it'd suck. A lot. So, I still have one more egg to hatch, then I guess I'll move on. I don't want to force my Pokemon to fight pointless fights for me- I can earn my own money.

I was looking through some brochures at the Pokemon Center too- it looks like you can rent a house in some cities. What I was wondering was...well, in Olivine City, are there big storms or hurricanes or anything? A poet can write wonders by the ocean, but I don't want to get swept away or crushed or anything.

[Having figured he'd get more help in a bigger city, Wirt struck out of New Bark Town and onto the road to Goldenrod City. It was taking him some time now, because he kept having trouble being around any large grouping of trees, and refused to just press on, much to Beatrice's chargin. At least she was getting some good experience with all the random encounters.]

Still gets dark early, huh. [He rests against a tree (not in a large group, of course.) for shelter.] I mean, it's March...or, so the calendar says. Considering it was October back home, it's a little hard to believe. [Beatrice gives a flat look. This kid's accepted the idea of Pokemon, but can't accept that the world is in a different time frame? Come on.] Well, whatever. [He checks his map via Poke-gear again.] Looks like we'll be there tomorrow. Probably. I could use a shower...and a real bed. [This at least, Beatrice agrees to with a more happy Blu!. She was getting tired as well, and Nurse Joy would more than happily restore some HP for her.]

Well, goodnight, Bea- [It's then that the Spinarak, attracted by the light of the gear, like most insects, drops down onto Wirt's head.]

A-AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! [Wirt doesn't do well with bugs. Especially large ones scrambling on his head. He runs about, flailing and screaming, straight into some bushes. The Spinarak tumbles off his head, and, very irritated, bites [and uses poison sting] on the first thing it touches....a sleeping Shinx!] Ah! Oh, no! [The Shinx is able to send the Spinarak running with a small spark, but, the poison takes hold and it falls over. Wirt, now extremely guilty, rushes to pick it up and bring it back to his campsite.] J-Just hang on! I'll get some help, ok????

[Video]

H-hey! I need some help! There was a spider and it bit this....um....Pokemon, and I think it's been poisoned or something! [He uses the camera to show the panting Shinx in the crook of his arm. Beatrice the Swablu is trying to get it to drink water.]

It's completely my fault it's like this! I...I...j-just tell me what I need to do! Please!